Sonia Kurian shares on how to heal fragile egos that stem from insecurities to have a healthy emotional response to the ups and downs of life
While many of us choose to live a life of sanctity and holiness, we know all too well that the person who looks back at us in the mirror, is busy dealing daily with the seemingly tattooed brokenness and fallenness of our own humanity. It may be tempting to believe that the root of this brokenness lies in others, and is no fault of our own. In fact, we may even go so far as to believe that we could achieve sainthood if other people would just leave us alone. But we also know that as Catholics called to be present to our world, this isn’t true.
As Pope Francis stated, “I like to contemplate the holiness present in the patience of God’s people: in those parents who raise their children with immense love, in those men and women who work hard to support their families, in the sick, in elderly religious who never lose their smile. In their daily perseverance I see the holiness of the Church militant”. Nothing makes us encounter the faults within ourselves better than encountering ‘the other’, in community. For instance, we may think we’re so humble, until we brush against someone who hurts our pride and prove how good we are at feigning humility, rather than actually possessing it. We may think we are incredibly patient, until a fateful encounter with a toddler throwing a tantrum would prove how short our fuse actually is.
It is understandable that parts of our brokenness may have been caused by others, or rooted in the actions of others but, it is important to also identify that we are also not hapless victims in the face of that brokenness. We believe in a God who rose from a brutal death, redeeming all things from wounds and scars of the body, to the extent of calling ruin upon the greatest threats to human life – death and sin itself. Faced with such a God, nothing is an impossibility and no brokenness is irredeemable.
That brokenness felt is very much a reality, but to begin dealing with that brokenness within ourselves and within our community, a healthy emotional balance can be key. In addition, while living in a community, it feels like there is an immediate need to have a balanced sense of self that can allow us to encounter and live with others in a healthy way. Although maintaining emotional balance is a process that takes time for healing and recovery, it begins with the anchor of a sense of our own identity, and where we draw our value and dignity from. Without it, one can very easily become a ship tossed whichever way the sea goes. And as Christians, we know where we draw this identity from. In 1 John 3: 1, the apostle tells us, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”